Love is giving someone the power to hurt you,but trusting them not to

I'm not sure why i feel kinda emo this week..
i juz feel like crying but i juz can't...like seriously..
i dunnoe where or when but i really hope i would juz cry so dat the pain i feel inside of me would fade away..
its kinda funny right how i wish dat i would cry while lots of other ppl are wishing for them not too cry..
i have been hiding tis pain i feel by putting on a fake smile and laughing away to every single joke eventhough it may be kinda lame..
if u were to notice..i have been eating quite alot of late and when i eat lot it juz means i am feeling down ok...
i am sorry to Faeez for being so cold towards u juz now by saying ur a jinx and ignoring u..
eventhough i said those hurtful words while i was laughing and u were also laughing..but i think u felt hurt rght??i dunnoe why but i juz dunnoe why should i treat u kindly when u dun treat me the way u want to be treated..
u come to me when u are alone or in trouble to ask for advice and comfort u but u juz ignore me when ur wit ur other frend and keep disturbing me wit ur childish antics..u may find the way u treat me and how i react to it funny but i dun feel dat way ok!
u repeatedly hurt me by ur harsh words but i always give in and try not to take it to heart but its juz hard ...
u always tell me dat u dun like to be made fun off and would feel hurt whenever ppl call u names..but have u thought dat it may apply to me too??u dun want to be treated dat way but u do that to me...

well maybe dats like a reason why i feel so down tis week..
but life still has to go on no matter how sad/sian ur life is right now...
i'm use to feeling dat way and maybe my life always has to be filled wit sadness and i dunnoe how long would i have to live wit tis.....??......
~shafiq~/~used friend~