Love is giving someone the power to hurt you,but trusting them not to

1. Release even busting a nut does not give the feeling of release that dropping a fat load provides. Do not argue with me on this; it is proven scientific fact. The endorphins your body releases during sex are nothing compared to the weight lifted from your bum after a hefty pile-on.
2. No weird dating period beforehand you don’t have to meet any parents, impress any friends, or come up with any clever lines. All you got to do is sit down, grab a magazine, and wait for the magic. It even beats the “get her drunk” approach in levels of simplicity. Comparing these two things is starting to get a little weird…
3. Low chance of catching an STD while it is true a toilet seat CAN give you a STD, it will not try to turn things around on you later and accuse you of man-whoreness… or for the ladies, being a slut.
4. No Bitching you will not get calls at four in the morning from your toilet who just wants to “talk”. However, it is always there for you when you need it. Just like its trusty sidekick “Shitpaper”. I can’t believe I am actually writing this.
5. Even after three times a day, you can still go more you can only have sex so many times a day before it starts to hurt. Well… if you are a dude this is true, I’m not sure about chicks. I already mentioned that they aren’t reading though. Girls never admit to taking a shit.
6. No awkward moment after…When you’re done… you flush and it’s over. If more relationships ended in this fashion the world would be a happier place. If only life had a built-in flush function. It just might save the world. Hopefully, some wild-eyed inventor is reading this right now and has been sparked to create the best invention ever.
7. It’s free sex costs money no matter how you look at it. Taking a shit is uncharged for in every decent free-thinking country in the world.
8. No chance of pregnancy none at all. It is all the quality with none of the risks. It is a good thing too; having to abort a piece of crap from your ass sounds like possibly one of the most uncomfortable things I have ever heard of in my life. Ok, I am never going to do anything like this list again.
~shafiq~